Have Fun with Your Enemies to Win
Wait what? The counterintuitive approach
OK caveat - I don't actually believe in “enemies”. But so many of my clients at huge companies have issues with other leaders and groups. So when I use that term, I’m referring to people that:
Block your work
Withhold resources
Undermine your efforts
“Swoop and poop” on an initiative right when it’s close to the finish line
Does any of this sound familiar? If not - congratulations! If so - read on...
Beyond Happy Hours: Inviting Them Early
When I say fun, I'm not talking about inviting them to a happy hour—although that would probably help too. I'm talking about bringing them in early during your first exploration, asking their opinions, collaborating, and ideating together. Get really curious about their "no" early on. It can feel scary, but it's actually a low-pressure moment. Especially if you can get silly and play a little bit, such as seeing if you can get to 20 bad ideas with them. The more impossible, infeasible, or just plain bad — the better!
Understanding Their POV Through Play
Playing with ideas early will help you understand their perspective better. It will get their guard down, and help lead to their truth more quickly. A great mantra from the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is "Seek first to understand then be understood." Maybe we haven’t fully understood their “no” enough to adjust our own plans, and make our own thinking stronger? Playing with them is a more psychologically safe way to surface their deeper truth.
I’ve Seen This Work Over and Over
I work with a lot of marketers at huge companies like Disney, Google, Logitech, etc. They are often in a hard position, as everyone at the company thinks that they understand marketing (even if they…don’t). To help them get unstuck, I’ll ask - who are the stakeholders that might block your efforts down the line? We bring them in early for some fun exploration, and then when we come back with our marketing campaign, the former blocker is much more open to it - even if they still disagree with the direction! There's a funny psychological trick at work, where because they saw the process to get to this idea, and they *feel* consulted, they're much more likely to be on board.
Adversaries into Allies
By bringing in potential blockers early, getting curious about their objections, and engaging in fun and creative collaboration, you can turn adversaries into allies. This counterintuitive approach not only makes the process more enjoyable but also increases the chances of your initiatives succeeding. So, next time you face a workplace "enemy," invite them to have some fun and watch the magic happen.
I recently had to deal with this, but in my case, I guess I was the "enemy." I am part of a subgroup of a larger group at work. I didn't agree with the other side's position (another subgroup), but I played along nicely, kept my comments to myself, and told the other people I was only responsible for a particular section of the subgroup, not the entire subgroup, so I would have to reach out to others before committing. When I did reach out, I found out my opinion was the consensus for our subgroup. The proposal was not a fit for us, but they are wanting to impose it on all of us in the group, a one-size-fits-all solution, which isn't really needed here. I could have cut off the discussion during the initial meeting, but they probably would have just gone around me, and in any case I'm not a good liar so I really did need to reach out to the others in the subgroup so when I said "no" it was a "we say no" not a "I say no but trust me I'm speaking for all of us."